Learn You Inside Out
by WarriorHale
Summary: Rae let's Finn read her diary.


**Disclaimer: **_I don't own MMFD or the characters._

**Author's note: **_Laura, thanks so much for letting me know about the mistake, love! _

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He had told her it really wasn't necessary, that it was fine for her to keep it private but she had insisted.

"I want you to know what you're letting yourself in for. You need to know what I'm really like if we're going to give this a go," she had told him.

"Just take it away with you, read it and then you can decide if you really want to be with me."

When she'd kissed him goodbye, it had been really intense and Finn wondered if she thought he was going to change his mind about her after reading her diary, if she thought it might be their last kiss.

Finn knew that wasn't going to be the case. It didn't matter what was in the book, it was too late; he already loved her. He'd already decided that he was never going to let go of Rae Earl.

He lay on top of his bed and began reading her diary. It didn't feel right to him, this wasn't some fictional novel; it was Rae's private thoughts. He was both shocked and flattered that she even trusted him enough to read it.

Some of it was funny; he found himself laughing aloud when he read that Rae had bought condoms and a book called 'How to be Orgasmic' and told the shopkeeper and librarian that they were for her mum. God, he loved her so much.

Some of it made past events fall into place, like the stuff about Archie's sexuality. It wasn't a shock to read because Archie had told Finn himself a few days earlier.

He had come round to Finn's house looking uncomfortable and a little bit nauseous and told him he had something he needed to speak to him about.

"Well, Rae mentioned to me that she'd like you to read her diary. I think she really wants to make a go of it with you, mate, and she doesn't want any secrets."

Finn had felt little sparks of happiness all over his body at Archie's words because Rae _really_ wanted to be with him but he managed to keep a straight face as he asked, "So, what are _you _tellin' me for?"

Archie had really looked like he was going to throw up then.

"Well, she's written stuff about me in it and she doesn't want to break my trust by letting you see," Archie said before taking some huge, calming breaths. "But I don't want to keep her from being honest because I think it'll be good for her so I thought I'd just come and tell you the stuff about me but it's really difficult for me to say, you know? And I don't want you to hate me…"

And he'd rambled on for a good five minutes before Finn had finally interrupted him.

"You're not here to tell me you still like Rae are ya?" Finn asked, frowning deeply, "Because if you are that's shit. You alrea-"

"I'm gay!" Archie blurted, before repeating more quietly. "I'm gay, Finn. And Rae's the only person who knows and I need you to not tell the rest of the guys, I'm not ready for everyone to know. Finn, say something. I'm dying here, mate."

Finn pulled Archie into a hug and gripped him tightly. He wasn't much of a hugger but he needed Archie to know he was absolutely fine with him being gay. Archie was one of his best mates; the fact that he liked other blokes didn't change that.

In fact, if anything he felt really stupid for being so jealous of Rae's friendship with Archie.

Rae had been amazing with Archie, she was such a loyal friend. Finn was sure if it had been Chloe instead of Rae, Archie would have been cruelly outed to everyone just so that she could feel better about Archie not being into her.

Some of the stuff Rae had written about him had him completely mind blown. She really cared for him. She didn't just think he was fit like all the other girls did, she really understood him on a deeper level and she still seemed to like him in spite of that.

Some of the things she wrote about herself though made his heart ache. Page after page of self hatred, thoughts and, on a few occasions, descriptions of hurting herself. He found it really difficult to keep reading some of it. More than once he'd found himself on his way downstairs so that he could go to her house and talk some sense into her before realising he had to read the whole thing like she'd asked.

As the diary went on it became more positive; there were fewer self loathing tirades and more paragraphs about how she'd actually felt okay. But every now and again he would come across a day where it seemed like she just thought everything was wrong with her and he just couldn't get his head around that. How could she think she was the worst when he _knew_ that she was the best?

She was smart, funny, caring, had amazing taste in music and she was beautiful. If he could be even half as good as her he would be more than content.

It was after midnight when he finished reading but he couldn't wait until morning to see her and speak to her about what he'd read, so he jumped on his scooter and went straight to her house.

When he arrived at Rae's house all the lights were out except from in her bedroom, which meant he'd hopefully be able to sneak in without her mum noticing. He grabbed a handful of chipping stones from the garden and threw them at her window until she looked out and agreed to let him in.

They sat awkwardly on the edge of her bed until Rae finally broke the silence.

"I really didn't think you'd come round again," she admitted.

"I know you didn't," he replied. "And at first I didn't get why you thought me readin' this would put me off but now I do."

"Right," she said, looking a little dejected. "So have you just come round to give me my diary back or tell me how weird I am or what?"

_Christ,_ he thought. _That didn't come out right._

"Rae, I didn't mean that how it sounded," he said quickly, grabbing her hand. "I meant that I properly understand now that you don't think much of yourself and you think it's weird that I have feelings for ya. But I think it's strange that you like me."

She snorted. "Why? You're like the fittest guy in Stamford."

He grinned, "Yeah, you said that in your diary a time or seven."

She kicked his shin playfully in response.

"Rae, you're the best person I know and I think that it's crazy someone as amazing and cool as you could even want to give me the time of day. I think the world of ya and the fact that you're ill and really struggle with stuff some days doesn't put me off. It just makes me want to prove how much I love you even more."

"Finn," Rae murmured, her eyes looking suspiciously wet.

"Now will you just try and believe me and stop trying to put me off ya 'cause it ain't gonna happen!"

She pressed their foreheads together and quietly agreed before he leaned forward, kissing her on the lips and for the first time Finn allowed himself to hope that things just might work out.

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**a/n:** _if anyone has tumblr my url is jinglebellblaine_


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